Wednesday, July 11, 2007

If you land on your feet, I hope you find a way to make it back to me...

Not a really in depth post today. My room is a disaster right now and I really should get started cleaning it.

Cleaning is always a big project for me though, at least when it comes to my room. I like looking through everything and all of my old things. So it always takes me FOREVER.

I've been feeling a tad better these past couple of days and am almost back to my bubbly, perky self. I think my hormones definitely were to blame this week for my craziness.

I started buying things for my new apartment today which made me happy. It's like I'm getting ready for another chapter in my life. It makes me smile.

I know people don't want to see me complaining about my weight, but I got on the scale this morning, only to see it go up 1.6 pounds. That didn't make me happy at all. So what did I do? I had a bologna sandwich for breakfast and a bowl of mac and cheese for lunch. Healthy, no? I haven't bought groceries for about three weeks now and am living off of my room mates' food. It's cheaper, but I'm totally paying for it. I think after I get some of my room done I'm going to go out running before work. That will probably make me feel a little better.

I some how have it stuck in my head that if I lose the weight, he'll come into my life more. I know I'm wrong, but hey, there's nothing wrong with a little motivation right? No matter how wrong it may be. Funny thing is, I know it's wrong, but I still keep thinking that.

On a side note:

If you really are reading my blog, I would like feedback on the things I write, however, and I really stress this...do not criticize my grammar or hound me for the way I'm feeling. I made this so I could be honest with myself, but still allow others to see it. I still worry that people are going to get the wrong idea about me when they read this, but then I remember, you don't even know my real name, my age (which will probably seem evident over time), or where I live (apparently a place that speaks English). So in truth, I really shouldn't be that worried what people that I don't even know think. This is kind of my way of ridding myself of that fear.

Hope everyone else has a nice day!

1 comment:

Mr and Mrs Knutzen said...

I love how honest you are. To be able to have some sort of anonymous forum to express your views, thoughts, and insecurities and to be brave enough to show the world the negative parts is very brave! I know this sounds cheesy but, everyone has the same thoughts as you do, especially women. These days we are constantly picked apart by other women so for you to speak up is honorable!